Rendezvous, then I'm through with you.

I’ve been gone for a while; I have been sewing a little bit everyday though, usually a line or two of smocking every night.  I was watching an episode of SG-1 last night and was getting ready to smock a little. Even though I don’t need sewing pins for it, I still keep them near by, just out of habit.  And normally when I sew, even though I have a pin cushion, I usually keep one pin between my lips. Just habit and something I do absentmindedly do.  Well, there I was with a pin in my mouth when I laughed or something.  I don’t exactly remember what I did because the only thing that registered was “Crap!  I just swallowed a pin.  What do I do!?”  I immediately seized up and I think I can feel it in the back of my throat, so I rushed to the bathroom to see if I could somehow see it and reach it.  No dice.  At this moment I hear the skype chime that means someone messaged me.  It’s Radish King.  So I video call her.  “I just, like just now, swallowed a pin!  What do I do?” 

Google, ever the authority on all things tells us I should go to the hospital, or eat a banana.  I opted for the hospital (I didn’t have any bananas anyway.)  So I need to go to the hospital, but this is Japan, and it’s 9:30.  I have no idea what hospital to go to, and anyway, I really would need my supervisor there.  So I need to call my supervisor.  Well crap, I can tell you what I did that day in Japanese.  I don’t know how to say “I accidentally swallowed a pin and sorry, but you could take me to the hospital?”  Radish King suggests calling our friend N, she speaks Japanese very well and if I do a conference call she can speak to my supervisor directly.  So phone calls are made here there and everywhere, but eventually my supervisor understands what happens and she’s on her way to pick me up and take to some hospital, somewhere.  Hmm, I have time enough to post a facebook status, right?   

Oh, my supervisor isn’t taking me to the hospital yet.  We’ve gone to the fire station.  Here she explains the problem and the men on staff start making phone calls to the hospitals to find out where I can go, or maybe something about an ambulance, but probably not because I know that word and I didn’t hear it.  Throughout this I have to keep on assuring everyone that no, I’m not in any pain.  I’ll tell you if I suddenly develop pain.  And I won’t be sitting here with the grin of the embarrassed adult who just swallowed a pin.

It’s 10:30 and finally my supervisor and I have a destination.  The hospital is about 50 minutes away, but that’s expected when you live in a small rural town.  We actually get there faster than normal because its late and my supervisor speeds.  After all, her dumb ALT just swallowed a pin and it’s been over an hour at this point.

Finally, we get to the hospital, and it’s a pretty short wait before one of the doctors is seeing me.  It’s now been two hours, first things first, I go down to the x-ray room or something, and have to change into a hospital gown.  They take a picture and there’s the pin in my stomach. 

 I’m told the first thing they want to try is an endoscope, but the endoscopist needs a CT scan, so down we go again. At this point, I’m told to move “softly” because having a needle in your stomach is dangerous.  I change out of my clothes again into another hospital gown and get the scan done.  This time I leave my socks off and stuff them in my bag.  Back we go to the clinic area and I get blood drawn from the back of my right hand and an IV saline drip inserted. Then I talk to the endoscopist and have to sign my name… I’m right handed.  The doctor and nurse struggle to explain the procedures and risks and then go through the standard set of questions. As the room is being prepared, I’m plopped into a wheel chair, and one of the nurses helps me change my shirt into a hospital tie-top.  I’m wheeled down to the endoscopy room.

Waiting, waiting… hoping one of my sisters saw my facebook status because if they didn’t, I’m probably the only person praying for me.  The chances of the endoscope causing serious problems is .007%, but the endoscopist thinks the pin is already to the lower end of my stomach, and if it leaves my stomach, the endoscopy won’t work, and I don’t know what the next option would be. Basically I’m praying this happens fast, and that the pin is easily removed.

The next part is pretty detailed, so if you don’t want to read about me getting a tube shoved down my throat skip ahead to the END.   

Welcome to the endoscope room.  Please lie down on your side.  Wait, no, my mistake, lie down on you back.  Here are some monitoring devices to attach to you.  Ok, roll to your side now.  We’re going to give you a shot in your hip. (I still have no idea what this was. It wasn’t mentioned to me beforehand and as far as I can tell it did nothing.)  Now here’s a spray to numb your throat, please swallow.

Oh it burns! 

Here’s another spray, please swallow.

Oh hey, my throat feels numb and trying to swallow feels like choking. 

Here’s one more spray, please swallow.

Uh, I can’t.  I can’t swallow and I guess it can just trickle back there.  How am I supposed to breathe like this?  My throat feels swollen shut, it’s probably just because it’s numb, but I can’t breathe deeply.   Ah, through the nose. Breathe through the nose.

Here, bite this.

I’m probably going to start drooling, aren’t I?  Crap, it’s got rainbow blinking lights.  Why is it multi-colored?  It looks like an alien probe device, and it’s dripping with goo.  Oh eww, eww. I can feel it in my throat. It just popped past something.  I can feel it in my throat; I can feel it in my throat.  Crap, I inhaled badly.  Coughing.  Ow.  I can’t breathe, why’s he still pushing it in?! Eww, more goo… oh, it’s easier now.  I can feel it in my throat; I can feel it in my throat.  It’s in my stomach.  It’s still going in.  How much space is in my stomach?  What is that noise, sounds like air being sucked through something wet. Gross, my stomach doesn’t feel good.  I can feel air bubbles and stuff.  My insides feel like their being emptied.  Coughing. Can’t breathe.  Please hurry up.  Please let the pin be there.  Please, oh please, oh please. This sucks. Coughing.  Can’t breathe. Thank you for petting me nice nurse lady. It’s OK, you can speak Japanese, I still get it.    Oh, they found it.  Get it out.  Why isn’t it coming out yet?  I feel sick.  I feel sick, I feel sick, I feel sick. Please hurry up.  Oh, he did it. It’s coming out.  It’s coming out. It’s coming out. It’s in the back of my throat. It’s out! Oh ew! That was slimy vomit. Ew, ew, ew, it won’t disconnect from my tongue. Oh, thank you again nurse lady for wiping that off for me. Oh cool, those are pictures from inside my body.  Was that my stomach?  Yuck, was it stuck into my stomach. Huh. Oh good, time to go? Wait, a sec, let me do my jeans back up. 

END

I’m loaded back into the wheelchair and on my way back to the clinic area.  From there I’m told to sit on a bed for a while and get to change back into my shirt.  I get the follow up with the doctors, my blood work came is clean.  Here’s some medicine. Call us immediately if you have pain or if your shit is black.  Yes shit, because the nurse doesn’t know a different English word. 

It’s 2:30, I’m back in my apartment.  Oh look, my sister did see my facebook message. I better tell them I’m OK and then go to bed. I have school tomorrow after all.

Apparently most people don’t remember their endoscopy because they’re given a drug from the valium family… I dunno if I didn’t get that because we were in a rush/emergency, or because they just expect you to be tougher in Japan.